Anyway, it is up to Wendy and some guy (who looks a little like a young Tom Cruise after drinking a vat of Olive Oil... which we've read Tom Cruise does in order to keep aliens out of his body. That Katie Holmes is one lucky gal...) to save the gang. Care to guess how successful this dynamic duo turns out to be?
As you can see, the death scenes deliver. JM is a big fan of the above-pictured weight-machine-head-slam...while Billy is partial to the old nail-gun-through-the-face that some poor girl endures late in the movie. When it comes to nail gun scenes, it's hard to top Color of Night...but this one comes close.
This movie also features JM's favorite actress, Crystal Lowe. You may remember her from... are you ready for this?... Black Christmas and Wrong Turn 2: Dead End. We've also just discovered that she's in the newest Poison Ivy movie. What a resume! Is there anything this young woman can't do? Really, she's exactly what's needed in the horror genre...she'll agree to appear in just about anything and never seems afraid to take her top off. Anyway, Crystal's demise is a perfect example of this whole "Choose Their Fate" scam. At one point in the movie, we're asked to decide what temperature to set a suntanning bed at. If you choose one temp, she is trapped inside the thing and burns. If you choose another, she gets bonked on the head and electrocuted.
Hey, that's not fair! No matter what you do, Crystal Lowe is only in the movie for about 30 minutes!!
But, what the hell, right? This movie is a hell of a lot of fun. It has that cheap digital-video look that every other movie we mentioned in this review has...and we must be getting soft in our old age, because we kind of like it now. We here at Tower Farm are actually glad we missed this one while it was in the theaters, because even though the "Choose Their Fate" gimmick effectively takes the viewer right out of the experience every 20 minutes or so, we wouldn't want to to watch it any other way.
JM gives it Four Fingers.
So, there you have it. Eight Fingers.